Living with Dyspraxia or Dyslexia is hard, Each comes with their own “specialised” problems; letters being jumbled, low processing speeds, unable to spell, low fine and gross motor skills, young social age which makes it hard to make friends, low spatial awareness.
I have both, jumbled together like a thunderstorm and a hurricane, they affect my daily life from the moment I wake up to the moment I rest. Yet, I have been inadvertently taught to hide it from the world.
Most people think back to childhood, school, friends and have a list of highs……….I mostly remember lows.
Low at age 5, being encased within a pentagon of blue makeshift walls isolated from the rest of the class because “it’s a distraction”
Low being bullied because you were isolated from the rest of class and being told “you need to learn to socialise with the other children”
Low like the imposing figure coming into my pentagon and screaming at me for not being fast enough with my work “and you should have finished it cause it’s easier than everyone else’s”
Low like your only friend turning on you and leaving you to fend for yourself in a world of bullies, mean teachers and black eyes.
Low like getting a black eye from sports and being the subject of a blood sport.
Low like being told I’d never be anything in life and setting my expectations to that standard.
Low like foundation exams, Low like 6 GCSES but not being proud of it because “I should have done better”
Low like dropping out of AS Leveself-fulfillingling prophecy.
I look back on my reasonably short adult life, there are highs.
High like treading my own path living in India and Italy,
High like internships with Graphic Design companies,
High like applying to university and being accepted,
High like performing my poetry at open mic nights to people who actually care,
High like overcoming self-harm,
High like 1st Class 2nd Division Bachelor of Arts Degree,
High like starting a Postgraduate Course at UAL,
High like finally having facilities and proper help with my disabilities
High like saying screw what everyone else thinks cause I live to my own standards and my own path,
High like having a family tree branching oceans, nations, creeds and races because friends are the family you choose,
High like being an advocate,
High like teaching young kids with Dyspraxia and Dyslexia to never give up and not listen to what parents, teachers, therapists, examiners, school reports, government surveys and disability checklists say because they don’t have your disabilities, you do and only you know what’s right for you, no one else.
High like I’m here right now and I’ve only just started changing the world.